Nearly all of us have experienced a toxic relationship at some point. While some relationships may be considered more toxic or unhealthy than others, they can all produce the same intensity of damage to our mental health. These relationships can cause us to lose our sense of worth and unconsciously enable self-destructive behaviors such as using alcohol and other drugs to self-medicate. Therefore, discussing the characteristics of both unhealthy and healthy relationships is necessary to learn how to recognize toxic relationships and understand that valuable resources are available to help you recover.
Healthy relationships prioritize respect for both partners.
Many people are not taught about the characteristics of healthy relationships as they age. However, there are certain factors that adolescents, teens and adults should all be taught to expect when working to develop a healthy relationship with another person. These factors are not only for intimate or romantic relationships but for all relationships across the board, including friends, family and other loved ones.
Youth.gov outlines 13 important characteristics that are necessary for facilitating healthy relationships. These characteristics include:
- Mutual respect
- Trust
- Honesty
- Compromise
- Individuality
- Good communication
- Anger control
- Fair fighting
- Problem-solving
- Understanding
- Self-confidence
- Being a role model
- Healthy sexual relationship (for intimate partners)
Unhealthy relationships are unequal and are marked by an imbalance in respect and control.
Conversely, unhealthy relationships do not prioritize respect. People must understand the signs of unhealthy relationships to address the situation before it escalates or before one partner is dominated. Youth.gov notes eight important characteristics of unhealthy relationships, which include:
- Imbalance of control
- Hostility, such as unhealthy jealousy
- Dishonesty
- Disrespect
- Dependence
- Intimidation
- Physical violence
- Sexual violence
It is essential to understand how and when unhealthy relationships become abusive.
There is no question that abusive relationships are unhealthy relationships. Despite what may come to mind when considering abuse, abuse is not just physical. For many, it is psychological and can wreak havoc on an individual’s sense of self.
Not only is it essential to recognize the signs of unhealthy relationships, but it is also important to recognize the signs of abusive relationships. Many signs may overlap. However, abusive relationships tend to escalate much quicker, often causing the victim partner to feel stuck in their relationship. Signs of partner abuse may include:
- Controlling behavior, such as constant monitoring of where a partner is or how often they see certain people
- Verbal threats
- Name-calling
- Public humiliation
- Blaming
- Shaming
- Harmful use of alcohol and other drugs
Relationships impact substance use and addiction.
There is an inevitable link between social networks and substance use. One’s relationships can encourage substance use, but relationships can also be a source of substance use prevention. Most environmental risk factors pertaining to substance use and addiction acknowledge that how an individual grew up can affect their substance use later on in life. Some of the factors that can lead to one using and abusing substances include:
- Childhood trauma, such as neglect and abuse
- Lack of appropriate parent-child attachment
- Associating with substance-using peers
- Insufficient knowledge of healthy coping mechanisms
- Isolation
- Peer rejection
- The presence of co-occurring mental health disorders
Risk factors during childhood and adulthood facilitate the likelihood of an individual turning to alcohol and other drugs to self-medicate. It is to be expected that individuals that experience unhealthy or abusive relationships may turn to substances as a way to cope.
In the same way, healthy social networking and supportive relationships are powerful factors that facilitate an individual’s commitment to sobriety and recovery. Sober networking can be a significant catalyst for change, especially as everyone works to achieve a shared goal. Healthy relationships encourage earlier treatment entry and long-term treatment engagement for individuals seeking positive behavior change.
Recover from your toxic relationships by taking time for yourself.
If you haven’t heard it yet, hear it now: you are not defined by your relationships. Similarly, you are not defined by how you are treated within your relationships.
Fortunately, there are many things you can do to begin your recovery from any toxic relationship. First and foremost, allow yourself as much time as you need to heal. You are on a lifelong journey to achieve self-love, and that journey can sometimes be incredibly rocky.
If you have found yourself using alcohol and other drugs to cope with your unhealthy relationships, you may find a substance use treatment program to be the most effective recovery route for you. Nearly all treatment programs utilize trauma-informed care, which means that these programs will help you work through the underlying causes of your substance use while helping you establish long-term sobriety.
If you have not been affected by substance use, there are many different treatment avenues available for you. You may want to seek out a professional evaluation by a mental health therapist to determine any root problems or undiagnosed mental health conditions. Behavioral therapy will teach you how to honor your sense of self. There is also an ample amount of support groups available for you to heal alongside other individuals that are experiencing the same thoughts, feelings and frustrations that you are.
Other ways to start recovering from toxic relationships include:
- Prioritizing self-care
- Cutting off contact with unhealthy partners
- Feeling your emotions
- Practicing self-kindness
- Talking about your experiences
Associated Behavioral Health Care is a mental health and substance use treatment facility that understands the risk factors that can lead to the development of addiction, such as neglectful and abusive relationships. We can help you uncover the underlying causes of your substance use and help you recover from the effects of past trauma. Call us today at (844) 335-7384.