The effects of substance use and addiction do not affect only one person. Addiction is often termed a “family disease” because it produces unique ripple effects on the lives of every family member of the person who has substance use disorder (SUD). While every family member will navigate their loved one’s substance use in their own way, many engage in enabling behaviors at some point. Often, people do not understand enabling behaviors, which can cause family members to engage in them unknowingly. As a result, the loved one struggling with addiction becomes increasingly dependent on their family unit to support their substance use and associated consequences.
Family members often want to do everything they can to prioritize the health, well-being and recovery of their loved one. To do so, they must understand all of the ways enabling behaviors can surface and replace such behaviors with ones that support their loved one’s treatment and recovery journey.
Addiction is a family disease.
The family unit is responsible for providing safety, nurturing and adequate attachment for all of its members as they develop and mature throughout life. Family is the primary source of education and support. Therefore, one family member’s substance use can create a significant impact on the entire family unit.
A few ways that substance use and SUD can affect the entire family unit include:
- Unmet developmental needs
- Impaired attachment
- Economic hardship
- Legal problems
- Emotional distress
- Learned substance use
- Increased risk of developing SUD or mental health disorders
Parents, siblings, spouses and children of an individual struggling with substance use will each respond to their loved one’s behaviors in unique ways. For example, a child of a person who normalizes substance use in the home environment experiences an increased risk of engaging in substance use or developing SUD as they age. A parent of a child who has a SUD may feel as if it is their job to “save” their child from the disorder, or oppositely, shun their child for their substance-using behaviors. How a family member will respond can be determined by factors such as their past experience with substance use, education about addiction and the quality of the relationship they have with their loved one.
Family dynamics play a role in addiction recovery.
Family support can play a key role in a loved one’s recovery from mental health conditions and SUD. If you suspect that your loved one is struggling, fortunately, there are many ways that you can encourage treatment and support your loved one’s recovery. First and foremost, it is essential to acknowledge and mitigate enabling behaviors.
What are enabling behaviors in families with addiction?
When it comes to substance use, enabling behaviors are ones that keep an individual in the cycle of addiction. In other words, enabling behaviors prevent an individual from facing the negative consequences of substance use. It is normal for family members to want to “rescue” or protect their loved ones from the devastating effects of their addiction. However, doing so can ultimately perpetuate substance use and keep their loved ones from experiencing lifelong recovery.
Unfortunately, enabling behaviors can often seem like supportive behaviors. It is important to learn how to recognize enabling behaviors and challenge them in yourself and others when they surface.
Some signs that you may be enabling your loved one include:
#1. Denying your loved one has has a drug problem
Addiction is a chronic and complex disease that requires professional treatment. If someone denies that their loved one has a substance use problem or denies the true extent of their problem, they are delaying treatment entry and recovery. This can be especially challenging if a loved one also denies they have a substance use problem.
#2. Lying or making excuses for your loved one’s behavior
Unfortunately, the stigma associated with mental health and substance use is quite harsh. This often causes family members to lie to others about the reality of their loved one’s substance use. It is important to recognize that making excuses for a loved one does not protect them. Instead, it causes them to become stuck in their addiction without feeling motivated to seek help.
#3. Providing financial assistance to your loved one
While this is circumstantial, paying a loved one’s bills or otherwise supporting them financially can enable their addiction. They may believe that they can always rely on their family for financial support, which can reduce their motivation to find a job or seek treatment. Providing financial assistance may also enable a loved one to purchase alcohol or other drugs without their family knowing.
#4. Neglecting your own needs
When feeling financially, mentally or emotionally exhausted, it may be a sign that you are enabling a loved one. Family members of those with SUD must learn to prioritize their own wellness rather than neglecting their needs to care for loved ones. Family members caught in addiction will benefit the most from professional treatment.
People can challenge enabling behaviors by having open and honest conversations with loved ones about their need for treatment and recovery. They should also learn to set healthy boundaries through family therapy, group therapy or other support group resources for families of loved ones seeking recovery from substance use.
Associated Behavioral Health Care (ABHC) is a comprehensive mental health and addiction treatment center that understands how challenging it can be to watch a loved one experience addiction. We offer a range of treatments and resources for your loved one and the entire family. To learn more, call (844) 335-7384.